'The Hitman's Bodyguard' review: Assassin meets boy scout; corpses ensue
Michael Phillips is a Chicago Tribune critic.
Samuel L. Jackson and Ryan Reynolds take aim for the umpteenth time in "The Hitman's Bodyguard." (Jack English/Lionsgate)Commercial moviemaking is often a matter of crossing your fingers and worrying about the same thing Gene Kelly did in “Singin’ in the Rain,” when, at the last minute, Monumental Pictures turned “The Dueling Cavalier” into a musical. “You think it’ll get by?” Kelly wondered. Are movie stars enough to sell a breathlessly rewritten paste-up job?
So
it is with “The Hitman’s Bodyguard,” which is not a musical but is, according
to reports, a breathlessly rewritten paste-up job. Once Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson agreed to star in this thing, about a
fastidious bodyguard assigned to an “unkillable” hired assassin traveling from
England to The Hague to testify against a brutal dictator, a straight-up action
picture became a crooked sort of action comedy, massively violent but full of
wisecracks in between the head shots.
The
result is passable stupidity leaning hard on its wily leading men. The movie’s
also pretty galling in its unceasing brutality for laughs. Right now some of us
may find ourselves disinclined to see a movie like “The Hitman’s Bodyguard,”with terrorist attacks as sight gags and bodies flying all over London and
Manchester and Amsterdam and points in between. (There’s a considerably better
diversion with a little less blood on its mind, “Logan Lucky,” also opening
this week.)
After
a fatally botched job, “executive protection agent” Michael Bryce (Reynolds) finds himself scrounging for work. His ex-lover, an Interpol agent (Elodie
Yung), guilts him into accompanying Darius Kincaid (Jackson) from a Manchester
prison to The Hague to testify against the dictator. Meanwhile wave upon wave
of Belarusian thugs in league with their murderous former president (Gary Oldman) attempt to kill, and kill
again. Let the insults beginning or ending with Jackson screaming
“m-----f-----” commence!
The
bodyguard and his hit man have a weird history together, which screenwriter Tom
O’Connor details in flashbacks recalling the worst of Guy Ritchie’s movies, where the visual
footnotes and hyperlinked jumps back in time play like lazy storytelling rather
than clever or surprising reveals. Salma Hayek, who usually slums it more
effectively in roles and movies like these, overacts like a fiend as Darius’
imprisoned wife, who goes free once her husband testifies.
Director
Patrick Hughes (“The Expendables 3”) manages one enjoyably frantic Amsterdam
chase sequence, with Jackson and his busy stunt double speedboating along the
canals while Reynolds (and his stunt man) zooms up and down streets on his
motorcycle, with Belarusian thugs in hapless pursuit. The ultraviolence (faces
held against hot griddles, etc.) I can do without; I don’t care if “that’s how
action is these days.” Tellingly, the best laugh in the picture is a bit
involving an aborted getaway and a couple of air bags, not a drop of fake blood
or cartoonish digital effects.
At
one point Oldman decries the “ludicrous charade” of his criminal trial, and the
actor pronounces “ludicrous” with six or seven u’s, i.e., “luuuuuuuudicrous.”
With that one vowel sound, a bored actor earns his paycheck. The movie
persistently blinds the audience with flare-intensive, cheap-looking digital
lensing by Jules O’Laughlin.
No
matter; the film will likely make its money. In a recent interview with Vice,
Jackson said he and Reynolds told the filmmakers: “If people get out of the way
and let us do what we do, we can fix f---ed-up s--- that's on the page, and
they'll look like superstars.” This is how things are today. The better and
more ambitious the writing becomes on the small screen, in every genre, the
more things stay the same at the multiplex.
Michael Phillips is a Chicago Tribune critic.
mjphillips@chicagotribune.com
MPAA rating: R (for strong violence and
language throughout)
Running time: 1:58
Opens: Thursday evening
source: http://www.latimes.com
source: http://www.latimes.com
